I Give Up

  I am sick of those people who are staring at me, judging me for being myself, for being honest, for telling the truth even when it hurts, for being real when most of them still living in some illusion that won’t end….I’m sick of you…I’m sick of your stupidity...all what I want is to be your friend, your sister, not your patient, stop playing the shrink with me…I hate when I feel like I have to explain everything to you, why I did this and this..Why I said this and not this…can’t you just understand…Stop it…Do you want to know why I speak loudly cos we people are not used to listen, cos we people are programmed to pay attention only when we yell to each other…why do you want me to lie to you??? Or should I use your famous word “Nezha you have to be Diplomatic, can’t you see? That’s how things work” I’ll tell you something “I GIVE UP”…sorry for the vocabulary.

I am a Future Doctor

   When I was a student in high school, I made a choice, I wanted to be an engineer, why is that?? Cos engineering is made for geniuses, Cos after  five years of studying they’ll get to start their careers and lives, Cos they make a lot of money...Well this is not only me saying that, our friends are saying that, our parents  are saying that…and reality is proving it. But (I won’t say unfortunately) luckily I had no choice, the  FMPM(the faculty of medicine and pharmacy of Marrakech )was the only one that had accepted me to be one of her students,  and suddenly I’m finding myself looking at the mirror asking  it:  “Am I going to be a Doctor???”   I actually didn’t know how deep this question is, I didn’t know that the right answer wasn’t “Yes” or “No”.

   First year wasn’t easy, new places, new people, new thoughts… My only concern was to attend classes, take exams, and finally to success in the end of the year, well there is no shame thinking this way, but it shows that I am like a lot of us scared to get out of my shell, to show people that I’m a creative person……

   After month and month, I recognized that I’m a just an useless person, a very lazy one, with a limited vision, I couldn’t see myself doing something else than reading for exams while a lot of students are spending their time on diverse activities, SHAME ON ME ……. 

(To be continued ….)